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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776146">Broken Wings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonbaelly/pseuds/soonbaelly'>soonbaelly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt, I'm Sorry, I'm not sure what to say, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, akaashi best boy, and kenma represses his feelings, bokuto is kinda clueless but okay, i cried, i'm weak, idk what to say about kuroo, kinda relate ngl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:00:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27776146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonbaelly/pseuds/soonbaelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kozume Kenma thought he had found his soulmate. Someone who he could rely on. But he now know such thing as soulmate doesn't exist.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Broken Wings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm not sure why I made this. The idea came to me randomly and is kinda based from real life situation. Also, English is not my first language but I hope I deliver the feelings and storyline well.<br/>I hope you enjoy this short fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Where it all went wrong?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well, I wonder.</em>
</p><p>“Kozume!”</p><p>I snapped back to reality.</p><p>“Yes, Akaashi-san?”</p><p>The name owner sighed. “I’ve been calling your name for three times,” he said, leaning against his chair. “What is it that you want to discuss?” he asked while eyeing me.</p><p>I can feel my stomach turn upside down while recalling the reason of our meeting. <em>It’s okay, Kenma. It’s Akaashi, he will understand. </em>I gulped before opening my mouth. I thought I was ready to tell him everything, but nothing came out of my mouth. Maybe I’m not ready to tell him the truth? <em>What if he tell me I was stupid? What if he tell me it’s all just in my head? What if-</em></p><p>“Kozume Kenma!”</p><p>That loud voice startled me. I looked up to meet Akaashi’s worried face.</p><p>“Tell me. What’s wrong?” He cupped my face groggily.</p><p>That was when I realise; <em>this is Akaashi. He will understand.</em></p><p>My vision started to blur. Akaashi’s face started to fade. Despite the fact, I could see his frantic expression. It’s funny how he can act like a worried mom towards me.</p><p>I smiled a bit. “It’s Kuro.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It was his first kiss.</p><p>That rooster bastard stole his first kiss, that’s enough for Kenma to ignore his team captain all day. Purposely tossed to Lev instead of Kuroo, changing a topic so he couldn’t join the conversation, or simply avoiding the captain all week. It got to the point where their teammates noticed.</p><p>“What’s wrong with them?” Yaku asked, not exactly directed to anyone.</p><p>Inuoka, the nearest from him answered, “they’ve been like that for almost two weeks.”</p><p>“My bet is on Kuroo. He must be the one who pissed Kenma off,” Kai joined.</p><p>Lev gasped. “But It might be that Kenma-san scared Kuroo-senpai off!”</p><p>Yaku’s eye twitched. “You’re so nosy, Lev. Go serve twenty times. Do it all over again if the ball fall,” he said before kicking Lev’s.</p><p>Kenma, who actually heard everything, (they’re gossiping so loud) sighed. How was he supposed to tell them that their captain harassed, uh, kissed him? Well, it’s not like he didn’t like it, but that bastard didn’t ask for his consent! Just thinking about it made Kenma wanted to choke the bastard, that for your information, acted like nothing happened.</p><p>After almost a month ghosting each other, Kuroo broke the silence.</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry. I love you”</em>
</p><p>**</p><p>Seven years had passed since that day and Kenma was happily dating Kuroo. He still found it hard to express his feelings openly, but Kuroo’s bluntness was enough for the both of them.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, just maybe, I found my soulmate.</em>
</p><p>That’s what Kenma thought about everything. He was so deeply in love, he acted like a fool. He knew that and he’s not ashamed. What should be ashamed of if you are simply drown in your feelings.</p><p>
  <em>Love is truly a scary and wonderful feeling.</em>
</p><p>At least, that what he thought.</p><p>That day, he bought Kuroo’s favourite dish. There was no special event, Kenma just felt like it. He’d been neglecting Kuroo the past week because of work. And he missed his boyfriend so much. Also maybe, a bit sexually frustrated?</p><p>When Kenma opened their flat door, he could sense the weird smell lingered in the air. A familiar scent.</p><p><em>No. Don’t overthink, Kenma</em>.</p><p>“Kuro?” he called out while throwing his shoes away. “I’m home!”</p><p>“Oh! Kenma, long time no see!” A loud familiar voice welcomed him. “Tetsu, he’s home!” shouted that voice again.</p><p>Kenma’s gaze landed on the voice owner. Bokuto Koutaro.</p><p>He could feel his heart sank. <em>Stop Kozume Kenma. Don’t overreact.</em></p><p>“Hello, Bokuto-san,” he smiled while greeting the bigger man. “Why are you here late at night?”</p><p>Bokuto shrugged. “Tetsu said he’s a bit lonely. So I thought ‘why not meeting up with him’.”</p><p>Before Kenma could reply to him, Kuroo got out of the bathroom. He noticed Kenma and quickly waddled to him before hugging him tightly.</p><p>“Kenma! I missed you!” he declared. He wasted no time before kissing Kenma all over his face.</p><p>Knowing Kenma, he got annoyed and pushed Kuroo’s face away. “Shut up, Kuro,” he said before turning his face away.</p><p>“Well,” Bokuto stood up, “I’ve no use here now. I’m gonna go home,” he said while walking to the door. “Have fun, both of you,” he smiled, caressing Kuroo’s hair slightly before made his way outside.</p><p>
  <em>It was nothing, Kenma.</em>
</p><p>**</p><p>He knew. He just didn’t want to admit it.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I really am become a fool now.</em>
</p><p>He sighed. <em>Why?</em></p><p>He clenched his heart. Where his heart is supposed to be, hurt. He could also feel his insides were turning upside down. Before he knew it, he ran to the nearest toilet and threw all his lunch in the closet. <em>Fuck</em>. That was the third time this week.</p><p>Last night he didn’t go home. Heck, he didn’t even need to open his flat’s door to know what was going on inside. The desperate voices inside.</p><p>
  <em>That should be me.</em>
</p><p>He wanted to punch them. The boyfriend he loved for the longest time, and a friend he thought he could trust. Both of them, he wanted to choke them and demanded sorry, maybe some compensation because he let them did it all the way until the end.</p><p>Kenma tried so hard to think about the amount of money he could ask from them on his way to a motel. It was simply to cheer himself up. But thinking about dubious things didn’t cheer him up.</p><p>“Fool,” he whispered to himself. Silent tears started to made their way out of his eyes.</p><p>Now, sitting on the cold toilet floor, he could just call Kuroo and told him to move out. He could, he should’ve been able to do it. But instead he stared at his lockscreen. The photo of their smiling faces made its way to his vision. “<em>Fuck..</em>” he mumbled to himself.</p><p>
  <em>I love him too much.</em>
</p><p>**</p><p>Three days not going home, Kenma had ignored all the texts Kuroo sent him. It got to the point where Kuroo reduced the amount of texts he sent.</p><p>
  <em>Does he even care at this point?</em>
</p><p>That day, Kenma decided to go home.</p><p>When he got into the flat, he was welcomed with silent. The place didn’t feel like home anymore. He could feel his body temperature went down, and the uneasy feelings in his stomach came.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>No one answered.</p><p><em>Oh, well. </em>He threw the things he carried and sat on the couch. <em>It’s not like I didn’t expect this.</em></p><p>He sighed and stared blankly at the ceiling. <em>When it all went wrong?</em></p><p>“Ah, fuck.” He got up and walked to his bedroom. The same bedroom he shared with Kuroo.</p><p>He passed the bathroom and heard some muffled voice. He could feel his body went cold and tears started to built up in his eyes.</p><p>Kenma wanted to run, scream, or do anything that maybe would help him released these feelings. Instead he walked to the bedroom and plopped on his bed.</p><p>“Today couldn’t get any worse, right?” He chuckled ironically.</p><p>Right after he closed his eyes, trying to sleep, the door opened.</p><p>“Kenma?”</p><p>
  <em>Shut up.</em>
</p><p>Kenma could feel the other side of the bed sank.</p><p>“Are you asleep?” A familiar hand caressed his hair. The hand owner sighed, “I guess you are. I hope you tell me where have you been. You’ve been ignoring my messages and calls.” The hand still caressing Kenma’s hair.</p><p>
  <em>Shut up.</em>
</p><p>“I missed you.” surprised look. “You’re awake?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m awake, Kuro,” he said blankly.</p><p>Kuroo’s face turned from surprise to anger. “Then why were you pretending to be asleep?”</p><p>Kenma didn’t answer. Instead, he stared at Kuroo’s face sadly. He slowly opened his mouth, “why do you think I did that?” he whispered.</p><p>“Well, I don’t know!” Kuroo snapped.</p><p>“Am I..“ Kenma now stared at the bed sheet, “am I not enough for you?”</p><p>“And why do you ask that?” The older guy asked.</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>Kenma looked up just to see Kuroo’s confused and angry face. He bit his lower lip before sighed. “No, nothing. Maybe I’m just overreacting.”</p><p>“See?” Kuroo’s voice hardened. “This is exactly your problem.”</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>Kuroo stood up then pinched his nose bridge. “Sleep, Kenma. I still have work to do,” he glared slightly at his boyfriend. “Also, Bokuto is here, he made some pancake or something. Eat it if you want.”</p><p>Just like that. He didn’t even let Kenma to asked why Bokuto was in their home. Kuroo left Kenma there with his heart shattered in pieces.</p><p>The next day, Kenma’s gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“What the actual fuck, Kozume?!”</p><p>Kenma jumped out of his skin. This crazy four eyed man just shouted and slammed his fist onto the table.</p><p>“How,” Akaashi rubbed his face, frustrated. “How the fuck could you say you love him?” he glared through his glasses. His hand now holding Kenma’s firmly. “He doesn’t deserve you! And Bokuto-san, I didn’t know he can do something like that,” he massaged his temple, now visibly angry. Akaashi abruptly glared straight to Kenma’s eyes, “leave him.”</p><p>The smaller man looked away. “I can’t,” he whispered.</p><p>Akaashi stared at Kenma, mouth agape, couldn’t believe of what he just heard. “Pardon?”</p><p>Kenma sighed. He turned his face and met Akaashi’s confused face. “I can’t,” he said louder.</p><p>Before Akaashi could say anything, Kenma opened his mouth and spoke quickly. “Do you know that feeling when you hold someone so dearly in your heart?” Kenma smiled sadly. “It’s like you refuse to see their flaws, neglecting to see their faults. It’s that feeling–“</p><p>Akaashi cut him. “Kozume, you can’t think objectively right now.”</p><p>Kenma scoffed. “No. I know I’m a fool for thinking like this.” He smiled slightly, “but despite all that, I can’t help but still loving him.”</p><p>Akaashi looked blankly at him before visibly gritted his teeth. He tightened his hand around Kenma’s delicate one. “I.. am not sure how to change what you think. But, Kenma,” he smiled fondly at the smaller one, “it’s not your fault.”</p><p>
  <em>No, Akaashi-san. It’s my fault.</em>
</p><p>The glasses man scoffed. “That rooster bastard is stupid for doing this to you.”</p><p>
  <em>It’s not his fault, though?</em>
</p><p>“And if he loves you with all his existence, he won’t dare do this to you,” Akaashi continued.</p><p>
  <em>No, don’t blame him. I’m the one who’s not genuine enough.</em>
</p><p>Akaashi patted his head. “You’re not in the wrong,” he smiled.</p><p>Kenma forced himself to gave him a smile. “Thank you.”</p><p>
  <em>It’s not his fault, it’s mine.</em>
</p><p>**</p><p>After paying for their coffee, the former setters went out of the café.</p><p>Akaashi stole a glance at Kenma. “What are you going to do after this?”</p><p>The blonde shrugged. “Disappear from existence, I guess,” he said, nonchalantly. Noticed the way his company face change made him chuckled, “I’m just kidding. Don’t make that face.”</p><p>The former Fukurodani setter fixed his glasses. “Please don’t make that kind of joke,” he said firmly.</p><p>“Sorry,” Kenma chuckled. “Teasing you is fun.”</p><p>The black haired sighed. He stepped forward then pulled Kenma to his hug. “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”</p><p>The smaller one smiled quietly. “Yes, thank you,” he said as he pushed Akaashi.</p><p>Akaashi looked at Kenma suspiciously. “Don’t do anything stupid. You know it’s not yo–“</p><p>Kenma rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. It’s not my fault.”</p><p>
  <em>It is.</em>
</p><p>“Now you know,” Akaashi smiles fondly at his friend and rival. “Oh,” he looked at his watch, “my break time’s over. I guess I’m going to hear from you soon?”</p><p>Kenma nodded. “Mhm. I will update you,” he smiled, “as soon as possible.”</p><p>Akaashi stared a bit at Kenma before nodded. “Well then,” he walked away, “take care, Kozume.”</p><p>Kenma still put that smile on his face. “Sure. Good bye, Keiji.”</p><p>After making sure Akaashi couldn’t be seen anymore, Kenma turned on his heel. He looked up at the sky before inhaling the air then let out a big sigh. “It’s a good bye for sure,” he smiled.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>When you hold someone</em>
</p><p>
  <em>so dear in your heart</em>
</p><p>
  <em>your brain refuses to</em>
</p><p>
  <em>see all the flaws that person has</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>You can call me a fool</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For loving him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Despite of what he’s done</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Because I am a fool</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love him too much</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and that’s not his fault</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It’s mine.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It’s my fault to fall for him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s my fault for unable to express</em>
</p><p>
  <em>my feelings genuine enough</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It’s mine.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>So please,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>don’t blame him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>for anything</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Good bye.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's short, I know.<br/>Also I have a note for you that might have experience this before; I'm glad you could get rid of this kind of person. Remember, you matter whatever other people say. (I actually have more to say but it might turn negative lol.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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